Imagine to Remember

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The veil is as thin as it has ever been. Between us and the numinous, the other worlds, beyond the beyond, the dreamscapes that you are already forgetting upon waking. It is all right there, just at the edge of your fingertips, the limits of your perception. The separation is the illusion, the unity is palpable. God is nearer to you then your own breath, your own blood filled veins it is said. And yet in my waking life I rarely, if ever feel this closeness, rarely do I glimpse into that other world. I want to at times, and at other times I am so without feeling that I only want to want, want to feel. Lack, anger, hurt, sadness, all those intense things, potent, distillate, simmering potions. Yes, these are real things. I can do something with them, draw them up from the simmering cauldron of life and take a sip, measure them, compare them against all the other all my previous sufferings, hold them up to the artificial light of my own scrutiny. But sometimes I feel nothing at all and that is truly terrifying. This wandering in an endless grey doesn’t feel so bad but it’s not good either, it is a void, a lack without the pain of hunger or thirst, without the urgency of a threat; it is the abyss staring back. If it gives me any feeling at all it is that of being less human.⁣⁣
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And then something shifts, so gently it is almost imperceptible. I go outside and I am rendered mute, shocked, all the colours are more intense since I last saw them, the sounds sharper, like a picture saturated and brightened by a computer, like headphones turned all the way up. Has it always been so beautiful? Reality has taken on a new quality and it shocks me. These same scenes I have passed through hundreds, thousands of times come alive as if for the first time; the soft bloom of wildflowers, the iridescent blue-green sheen on a dragonfly’s wing, the cooing of doves, it is all so old and yet it feels entirely new, like I am awaking from a hundreds year sleep, from some dark cold subterranean life into the burning illumination of the sun. I am alive with a new life and it is not at all like the life of yesterday.⁣⁣
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